Leading Leaders

There have been a lot of news stories this past election season asking the question "Who will be a better leader?"  I wonder, what criteria do we use today to define a leader?  Is it someone with charisma - someone that can influence people to follow them, come hell or highwater?  Is it a person with a servant's heart that becomes a leader by circumstance, convicted by a cause and moved to action?

These questions give me pause as I struggle to become the best leader I can be.  I wonder what your experiences are?

The first time I heard the term "mentoring", I was watching daytime television - eating Cool Ranch Doritos and enjoying the carefree summer days of adolescence. An organization by the name of Big Brothers Big Sisters of America was looking for volunteers to mentor young, at risk kids in the Dallas area. At the time I had no concept of what mentoring meant, or what a difference it could mean to a young child - or to a young professional for that matter.

There are several people whose extra efforts have meant the world to me throughout the years. I won't lie to you, my teenage years were hell. I was not considered a cute girl in school, and the other kids - well, I'm guessing that you all know just how friendly kids can be when they spot a self-esteem issue. I was like bait on a hook. What saved me was the love and friendship of an amazing woman named Sheila.  Sheila had neither the time nor the need to befriend me, her husband was the pastor of our church so her schedule was hectic and her critics were many.  Sheila couldn't care less. She taught me that you don't have to care about the judgments of others, so long as you know that you are right with yourself and your maker.

Sheila was followed by several amazing supervisors, and honestly - I must have been the luckiest employee in the world to have learned from so many willing teachers. From my time at MCI to my present employer I have had the honor of working with some very capable leaders. These are people that understand that it doesn't take monumental gestures to mentor someone willing to learn.  Eager students are encouraged by simple lessons - give us an hour a month and we will repay you with our successes.

Mentoring can be personal or professional, so long as it is positive. Take some time to teach someone how to ride a bike, how to give an interview - or how to counsel an employee.  Walk by an employee's desk and remember their name - USE IT NEXT TIME YOU SEE THEM.  Take the time to ask about their dreams and help them get there, if they'd like.  I'd wager that someone once did it for you, as they did for me. 

Take the good that you learn and teach it to the ones that come after you.

Oh, and Big Brothers Big Sisters of America is still looking for volunteers.

There are arguments for and against the notion of "born leaders."  This site is devoted  all types of leadership, but focused especially to the idea of grass roots leadership, or the citizen leader.  These type of leaders are often reluctant leaders, people that come into positions of influence by chance, to create change in economic situations or local political environments.

If we believe that individuals can become leaders, we must also believe to some extent that leadership, or some parts of it, can be learned. Successful people are not by default leaders. In fact, many executives have traits or characteristics that keep them from rising to the level of leader within their circle. (If you haven't already, please pick up a copy of What Got You Here Won't Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful by Marshall Goldsmith)  I point this out because I believe there are many that would become more active within their communities and organizations if they had confidence in their leadership potential. Grass roots leadership, servant leadership - these ideas are not about salesmanship alone. They are about influencing others with a heartfelt passion.  They are about action, volunteerism.

Everyday leaders are not the people we see on the 10:00 news.  (at least not on a regular basis) Everyday, citizen leaders are the men, women, and young people that volunteer at the community center for no glory at all. We rarely hear about all that they've accomplished, and yet they accomplish so much.  These are the leaders that we know so little about...and the leaders we should seek out.  These individuals have much to teach us about how to become good citizens. These lessons can be translated into both community and business - and they are lessons that will not lose their relevance over time.  

It is easy to stand in front of a group of your colleagues and provide opinions on their performance.  Waxing poetic on a myriad of subjects takes a talent for speech and presentation and perhaps even an ability to be engaging, but this is not what leaders are made of, nor is it how we inspire or teach others to become leaders.   In our social and organizational environments we have no shortage of opportunities to show others what we are made of, but I wonder, how often are we willing to live the lives we profess to commitment to?

As managers, parents, brothers, and sisters we are tasked with the mentorship of those that come along behind us.  We promise them leadership and guidance, we assure them that their input is valuable and their thoughts - worth developing.  We ask them for their trust and their loyalty and in return we are to deliver back to them the benefit of our experience.  We pledge to the world our strength, morality, and the deliverance of just behavior. 

I can't help but sit back and wonder, after examining my own life (and if I am being honest, being a bit overly judgmental of others, too), how often are we able to put action behind our words?  Leadership is not a theory, nor is it a concept.  Leadership is a way of life. Leaders are not afraid of pissing off the pack. They understand that often, the pack is wrong.  How do we teach this to others?  How do we take a trait such as fearlessness and pass it down to the next generation?

In our promises to mentor others we commit ourselves to providing them with advice, guidance, and a helping hand on their path toward success.  We promise them our time and our honesty.  There are a number of mandated mentor / mentee relationships within corporate cultures, but if I am correct, there are few that provide actual benefit.  I receive emails from disappointed workers complaining that they have had only one or two meetings with their mentors within the last twelve months. On the flip side, mentors tell me that their organizations regulate the entire relationship -  making any of their efforts seem forced, scripted, and ultimately fruitless.

Organizations that wish to truly inspire change rather than merely pay lip service to it must find ways to allow for the creation of leaders.  Mentorship, in its true form, allows those blessed with leadership skills to teach those that are interested in learning.  For the follower, there is value in having learned management skills from one who is not afraid to teach the lessons.   

I received a lot of emails about the Plunger story.  Not enough to terrify the providers of my email account, but enough to make the Loved One a little nervous.  Even the ferocious Yorkshire terrier was shaking in his boots.

One reader commented to me that "Surely, if the executives at your friend's organization thought she was that valuable, she wouldn't be expected to plunge toilets. Maybe she thinks too much of herself." 

Another writes "Odd that you would choose this sort of theme for a leadership website."

Exactly my point. 

It is time that we change the way we think about the concept of leadership.  I believe it was Smartypants that posted earlier this week  that there seemed to be no great social leaders left. We are no longer encouraging the cultivation of maverick thought and creative invention.

Leaders come in all shapes, sizes, organizational situations, and classifications.  They are managers, receptionists, owners, and newly hired entry level employees.  All have a contribution to make.  Some will be brilliant, others will be mediocre but all will be worth hearing. 

Whether you subscribe to the trait theory of leadership or the more situational based theories, you will still think of some more inclined to follow in the footsteps of others than take up the charge themselves. That's okay... What we are missing in today's workplace, and yes, in society in general, is a willingness to look outside of the CEOs and political figures for our inspiration. Good ideas come from the most unexpected of places and often from the most unorthodox people...